Holy Week with the Jesus Storybook Bible

Spring has emerged these last few weeks and what a flurry of activity has begun outside our patio doors. The cardinals, red-breasted robins, and chickadees are joining us again at our Woodland Hollow. Blossoms unfold and are whisked away by spring winds and rain. Chipmunks and squirrels once again climb the pole of my bird-feeder to steal away the seeds I’ve placed for the birds. And so, the battle between Mommy and the squirrels begins again as seed gets scattered, gluttonous squirrels get chased away, and Crisco gets smeared on the pole to hold them back for another day.

Along with Spring, Holy Week has arrived; a holiday that calls for remembrance, solemnity, preparation, celebration and feasting! This is our favorite time of year and we love to celebrate in meaningful ways. We enjoy celebrating Lent, to focus our attention for a period of time on praying for something specific, perhaps fasting from something to bring my attention to more focused prayer, with readings and even kids’ activities. This is our ideal, although reality often looks a lot different. This did not happen this year. I had full intentions to go through a reading plan with the kids, but I didn’t even get to the point of printing it off my computer.

Sometimes life is like that. And perhaps for some of us, life is often like that!

If you are like me this year, with lack of energy, preparation, and time (for the Lord has placed many things on our plates this year), then may I be completely honest and share that we are starting our Lent reading plan today, on Day 37. That’s right! We missed the first 36 days and we are opening our Jesus Storybook Bible today to prepare for Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday using Sally Lloyd-Jones’ free lent reading plan.

Sally Lloyd-Jones is the author of the Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name. This year marks the 10th anniversary of this beloved story Bible that takes the truth of Scripture and presents Bible stories in a way that connects with children, and even adults! Our daughter was just a wee baby when I first heard of this book. When a friend shared that she, herself, was deeply impacted every time she read one of these stories to her children, I decided to check it out! Its been a part of our family now since our daughter’s first birthday. By the wear and tear of it, you can see how well loved it has been. In fact, this Easter, I decided to purchase a new copy for our family to enjoy!

As well, for Lent and Easter, Sally lovingly put together this reading plan to help parents walk their children through this most meaningful season in the Church calendar using The Jesus Storybook Bible and the corresponding Scripture passages.

So if you are like me, and life is a little messy right now, literally and figuratively, why not just jump right in on Day 37 and share with your kids how Jesus jumped right into the messiness of a broken and sin-filled world to rescue them, and to show them that…

 “Nothing can ever – no, not ever! – separate us from the Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love of God he showed us in Jesus!”
~Sally Lloyd-Jones

Perhaps next year, the blossoms will stay a while longer on the bushes before the wind sweeps them away. Perhaps next Spring, the squirrels will be a bit more generous and leave more seed for the birds. And, perhaps, next year, we will start our Lent reading plan from the very beginning, on Day 1!

Happy Easter! Our Rescuer has come and is alive forevermore!
~Jen

Book Review: Messy Beautiful Friendship

Almost eight years ago, my husband, myself, and our baby girl were planning an international move… 45 mins from home! As we prepared for my permanent resident interview, including a short, and very sweet, trip to Montreal, Quebec to become a legal immigrant, I began praying for the friendships I would make in our new hometown. Though I was excited and eager for yet another adventure that God was calling us to, I was sad to be separated from dear, life-giving friendships that had been established and nurtured through regular three-hour-long coffee dates every other week. It was so hard to leave these friendships that began during my single years, supported me in early marriage, walking through the grief of miscarriage, and rejoicing with me in the joys of life with a long-awaited newborn. Even though I was moving a mere 45 mins away, I couldn’t bear not to have these ladies by my side, or just down the road! But that separation of a border and another country made it seem that much further away! Thankfully, those friends came and visited once or twice a month and I was able to go and visit as often as I could as well. We found a favorite coffee place in my new hometown, a new favorite walking path along the bay and, thankfully, we were able to keep up our friendships in this new season of life, stateside!

As time went on though, and as we got more settled in our town and in a new church, I knew I had to start making deep friendships there too. So I started to pray for an “American Lisa” and an “American Karen”. That God would bless me with deep friendships in our new town that were as deep and life-giving as those I had in Canada. And, through time, playdates, and mutual initiation, those friendships did come and continue to this day as well. We know that when we do get together and see each other again, we will be able to step into that closeness and like-minded friendship and conversation again. I know that these women are my sisters in Christ, they rejoice when I rejoice and mourn when I mourn. And I do the same for them. We are each other’s cheerleaders and prayer warriors and will be throughout the span of our lifetime. I’m thankful for these friendships. They are lifelines that point me to Christ and I need them.

I’ve written before about how I’ve needed to hold my friendships with open hands as God has called me to a nomadic life of serving Him in various locations. Perhaps this is why I’ve put much thought and prayer into my friendships over the years, as I know that I need community wherever God calls me, and now us, as a family. We have at least one more move before we settle down for hopefully what will be the place where we settle and put down roots for the foreseeable future, perhaps ten, twenty years or so. I’m starting to pray again for those friendships, the women who will be in my circle, serving with me, praying with me, and loving our community together for Christ.

Perhaps it is quite timely then, that God led me to read Christine Hoover’s new book, Messy Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships. As I flip through the book, it is looking rather yellow! I have marked it up quite thoroughly with my yellow highlighter. Reading so many thoughts and ideas that have echoed my own through the years was like finding a kindred friend who knew exactly what I was thinking!

Something awakens in us when we find someone who can relate to a shared value, struggle, or lesson learned. That is what I found when reading Messy Beautiful Friendship. The book is laid out in short, concise chapters, much like a devotional book, focusing on specific themes. Each of the five sections leads the reader through a pilgrimage of facing the very real challenges of friendship while leading the reader on to a gospel-centered perspective on friendship that reflects how we are to live in community as Christians.

Far from a worldly, static perspective on friendship, Christine offers water for the parched soul that is longing for friendship that goes beyond mere surface talk, common interests, and vacationing together.

“… the goal of friendship is to secure ourselves to the sure, steadfast anchor of Christ and, while holding to that anchor, give and receive the gift of friendship as we have opportunity. The goal is to enjoy God together with others and, as we move through life, to sharpen and allow ourselves to be sharpened by friends. We imitate Jesus with one another, willing to face the stark realities and consequences of sin, all the while persevering in our efforts to offer love, grace, forgiveness, reconciliation, comfort, and care to one another. In doing so, we display to one another and the world how God loves and, through this, bring him glory. This is our destination, the point on the map we move toward: bringing God glory.” pg.39

Interspersed along the way are quotes from Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book, Life Together. I love it when authors find an old, Christian classic like this and weave the wisdom of those from another time and place into a message that is meant for our generation today. It not only reinforces what God was doing in a community from a culture and political climate of years gone by, but also shows that what God was doing then, is what He is continuing to do today, bringing the redemptive power of His Son to a hurting, broken world, a world that He will one day make new. We need the messages that are written for today as well as those words, sometimes ancient words, that connect us to times past.

Throughout the book, Christine unravels many of the reasons our friendships get so messy. It is that unspoken wish-dream of friendship that hinders so many of our relationships and prevents us from embracing the people who are right in front of us. Our idealistic expectations for community get shattered every time we put that wish-dream on its pedestal. She delves further into why its so important to enter into that messiness to find the beauty of friendship on the other side of our “ashes of insecurity”.

“In our envy of other women and who they are and what they have, we have chosen not to celebrate them or allow them to get close. In our childishness, we’ve been inconsiderate in thinking that friendship is for us and about us and should be what we want. We’ve been inwardly critical, and outwardly too, though we might not have dared to address the person directly. We’ve been judgmental and partial and argumentative and a million other things that sting and divide. These are ashes of our own making.” pg. 59

A wake up call like a back draft from an inferno rushes through my heart as I read those words and remember the times I’ve silently held back my offer of rejoicing with another in her joys, as well as the pain I have felt in my own heart when others have not rejoiced with me in my blessings. We all struggle in this way. Our insecurity breathes its venom from silent smiles when we choose the ways of the world, instead of following the Lord in his outpouring of a life of sacrificial love, obedience, and service. Our eyes need to be ever on our Lord, drawing strength from the Holy Spirit to actively listen, celebrate, and rejoice with others. Slowly, our insecurities fade away like the deadness of winter being engulfed in the new life of spring foliage. Our friendships become fruitful and life-giving to others and we find the safety of a community that lives and breathes the gospel of grace.

“But we are people of life! We can use our words to bring dead things to life, mirroring the resurrection of Christ and our own.” pg. 133

As I mentioned, my book is filled with yellow highlighting. I could write many reflections, perhaps on each chapter, as I have read this book. I will leave you with one more quote from Christine as she challenges us to enter into the hard conversations and the messiness, while seeking God’s glory and our joy in the beauty of friendship.

“We are to observe our friends. What are her gifts? What stories has God written in her life that could become an impactful ministry to others? What lies and patterns of behavior are hindering her relationship with God? What does it seem God is trying to do in her life? As we observe, we use our words to confirm her gifts, exhort her to ministry, encourage her growth, and excite her as to what God is doing in her life. Our honey-words have the power to stir up love and good works in the lives of our friends.” pg. 132

__
As part of Christine’s launch team for this book, I invite you to visit her book launch page, order the book before its release date next week for a sweet deal, and get those preorder goodies before they’re gone!

You can purchase her book on Amazon!

Reflections: Messy Beautiful Friendship

It was midnight when we rolled into the driveway of a city hotel under the cover of pitch darkness and a brooding storm that had escorted us into our new state, half way across the country. For months as we were planning to move, I couldn’t envision this new place and so in my mind, the state of Missouri was completely dark. And when we arrived to our hotel where we’d be living for a week as our new apartment was being prepared, I opened the handle of the driver’s side door into blackness which was lightened only by the hotel’s inner brightness and some funky pop music to usher me out of my stressed out, post traumatic state of having driven for about 15 hours straight, the last few hours having been pummeled by a thunder and lightning storm. Darkness. What I had envisioned about this state was still true in my perception. Our family was alone, isolated, with no friends or family, and without a clue as to what we would wake up to in the morning.

The morning did come. We awoke to blue, sunny skies overlooking a city, although all I could see from our hotel room was trees for miles. Trees! Now I knew two things about Missouri… storms and trees! The light was beginning to dawn on the beauty of the new land we had come to and our perception of this amazing state was getting into focus.

As we bravely left our hotel room to visit the campus, we were met by strangers who would become dear friends and neighbors. We were met by introductions, small talk, and “what’s your phone number? I’ll give you a call and we’ll get together!” More light was coming into view and our vision of what our home could be for the next three years started to become clearer. In fact, there was one woman on campus, Liz, who had been silently preparing for my arrival for several months and when we finally met in person, she was like a magnet that drew me in and connected me with other women, giving me much to look forward to in friendships here and what God might do in the life of our family here.

That’s what I call a friendship magnet. Like Christine Hoover says in her latest book, Messy Beautiful Friendship,

The truth of the matter is that we all have the ability to be friend-magnets when we enter a room with the words, intentions, and body language of seeing others–There you are!–rather than saying Here I am! Everyone look at me! Everyone listen to me! or the opposite, false humility response, I hope no one notices me. I will feel too self-conscious. We esteem others as more important than ourselves. We keep an eye out for the one standing on the fringe of the circle. We move toward the outside and pull those we find there into the mix. And let’s face it: Don’t we all feel like we live on the fringes in some capacity? Haven’t we all felt like an outsider at some point? We all know the relief of someone pulling us from the outside to the inside. We’ll be their friends for life.

In fact, I’m pretty sure my dear friend did say those exact words several times, “There you are!” She was so outward-focused and so eager to serve and connect me to the community that she invited me and our four kids out to the zoo with her and her kids while still living at the hotel that first week! We weren’t even in our new place yet. After that, she sent her older sons to collapse all our moving boxes that were strewn about on our patio. She sent food, invited us for dinner, play dates, and since then, many more coffee dates!

Christine writes,

Keep an eye out for the marginalized, the fringe, the new, the lonely, the quiet and unsure ones. Your influence pointed in the direction of an outsider can have great impact. It doesn’t take much—a word of welcome, an invitation to a playdate, a thoughtful encouragement about a job well-done, or remembering her name—and a whole new world opens up for the one who needs a world, any world, to open up.

I’m so thankful for this friend who reached out to me during a time of great need, even before I stepped onto the campus of our new home away from home. It meant the world to me! With the stability of a growing friendship with her, I was then able to, slowly, reach out to other women here and begin to offer the same kind of friendship I had received from her, to them.

Blessings on your journey of friendship,
Jen

**

I am a part of Christine Hoover’s launch team for her new book, Messy Beautiful Friendship. One of my favorite things to do is to share great Christian resources with other women, as well as promote or share the creative work of other women as they use their divinely designed gifts to serve God and the Church. It is an honor to pair these two loves into helping promote her new book which will be released on April 18th. Below, you will find one of these excerpts. Enjoy, and be blessed in the gift of friendship!

How to Be a Friend Magnet

Perhaps you’re one of those people with friends coming out the wazoo. I am friends with people like you. You are likable, fun, considerate, helpful, and all-around good human beings. You are awesome. I flock to you.

These friends of mine, upon hearing that I was writing a book on friendship, asked me to tackle these questions: How does one foster intimate, true friendships and remain hospitable without becoming cliquish? Is it even healthy to cut off the number of friendships you have?

The friends that I mention are women using their influence to serve others, honor others, seek out the best interest of others, and love others in a way that brings glory to the Lord. For those who are jealous of the friend-magnets in your midst, to be fair, I don’t think it’s as cut and dried as it seems. I believe these women are a real-life chicken/egg scenario: do people come toward friend-magnets simply because of who they are, or do these friend-magnets consistently go toward others ready to bless and honor? I see my friend-magnet friends working hard at friendship and being extremely others-centered. They are genuinely interested in others, honor others, and listen to others. My friend-magnet friends all have wildly different personalities, so it’s not that they have a charisma necessarily, although I think they are delightful people. They are simply people who consistently go toward others, no matter who they are, and seek to make other women feel comfortable.

If you are a person who attracts friends easily, please know that you’ve been given a gift from the Lord. You’ve been granted a magnetism and a way of making people feel loved. Thank Him for this gift, but please also recognize that this gift is not about you. The gift you’ve been given is the gift of influence, and it’s important to consider how you will use it.

If you are a woman who attracts friends easily, my encouragement to you is to use your influence to serve the outsiders. Keep an eye out for the marginalized, the fringe, the new, the lonely, the quiet and unsure ones. Your influence pointed in the direction of an outsider can have great impact. It doesn’t take much—a word of welcome, an invitation to a playdate, a thoughtful encouragement about a job well-done, or remembering her name—and a whole new world opens up for the one who needs a world, any world, to open up.

The truth of the matter is that we all have the ability to be friend-magnets when we enter a room with the words, intentions, and body language of seeing others–Thereyou are!–rather than saying Here I am! Everyone look at me! Everyone listen to me! or the opposite, false humility response, I hope no one notices me. I will feel too self-conscious. We esteem others as more important than ourselves. We keep an eye out for the one standing on the fringe of the circle. We move toward the outside and pull those we find there into the mix. And let’s face it: Don’t we all feel like we live on the fringes in some capacity? Haven’t we all felt like an outsider at some point? We all know the relief of someone pulling us from the outside to the inside. We’ll be their friends for life.

An honoring person who looks for the outsider soon becomes a safe person for many, many women. In other words, her opportunities for friendship are abundant and overflowing. This is why my people-magnet friends are asking, “How does one foster intimate, true friendships and remain hospitable without becoming cliquish?” and “Is it even healthy to cut off the number of friendships you have?” Because a person who honors others will eventually have to navigate these things.

And I say, in response, that part of honoring others is connecting others. There is a special kind of joy in connecting two women we think will hit off or who share a story, interest, or life circumstance in common. We don’t have to be everyone’s bestie, and just because we’ve included someone doesn’t mean we have to become their intimate friend. We can help foster community among women by being a bridge between them.

So, for my darling friends who are worried about having too many BFFs to handle, this is what I would say: honor all and be deep friends with some. Be friendly and hospitable to all and give intimate attention to a few. Welcome all. Keep an eye out for all. Love all. You don’t have to be close friends with everyone, but you can certainly use your God-given influence to bless others and connect women with one another. Be a friend magnet and you’ll attract joy too.

—

This post is an excerpt from Christine Hoover’s new book, Messy Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships, which explores the joys and complexities of friendship among Christian women. Find out more about Christine at www.gracecoversme.com. 

To preorder Christine’s new book, click here! As well, watch this wonderful interview with Ruth Chou Simons of Gracelaced.com. In it, Christine and Ruth talk about overcoming hurts in friendship. This 30 minute video is packed full of godly, Biblical wisdom and truth.

Friendship ~ Reaching Out with Hands Held Open

Almost two years ago, we packed up our home and moved our family across the country to attend seminary. We said goodbye to dear family and friends. Many of those friendships having just been made three years previous. Having moved many times in my life, I have known this pattern, this rhythm of reaching out and letting go; the ebb and flow of changing relationships and life stages. With a mix of embracing the next thing that God had for us to do, with a sense of adventure for what lay ahead, and with the knowledge that my heart would grieve again as we said good bye to everything and everyone familiar, the Lord had taught me how to sustain and maintain long distance friendships while starting new friendships in a new location. It was challenging to walk through the emotional work of discerning where each new and old friendship fit into my heart and life.

As a married couple and as a family, we have lived in four different cities in the past 10 years. Each location being substantially far from the last one. I have invested much emotional energy into developing new friendships and have learned several things that have aided me in maintaining my treasured and valued old friendships, while taking the risk, time and energy of investing in the much needed new ones as well. Years of prayer have been put into the health and strength of friendships.

Prayer
Whenever we have anticipated moving, I have prayed in advance that God would bring into my life a few really good friends. He always does! I pray for Him to direct my path to kindred hearts and allow the friendships to develop in God’s time. Praying and then trusting God to provide is an active discipline of faith. Sometimes the friendships have come quite quickly. At other times, I have had to wait a couple years before I saw the fruit of my prayers as I’ve actively reached out in my pursuit of community. In one season of life, the loneliness was almost too much to bear as the pursuit of friendship took much longer than anticipated. It was at that point that God provided a lovely and unexpected friendship with a much older sister in Christ. Though she was thirty years older than me, the depth of friendship I experienced with her was honest and real.  At times, through tears, I would share with her my friendship struggles, and my heart was ministered to in the counsel and empathy I received from her. Never think that your friendships have to be only with peers who are the same age. Some of my deepest friendships have been with ladies who are either much younger or much older than I. We are sisters in Christ and we can learn from one another.

Know Who You Are
To enjoy the fruit of deep friendships, you must put in the work to cultivate those relationships. Its a journey of intentionally seeking to know someone else, as well as becoming known. That journey begins with knowing yourself first. Realizing my personality type has given me an understanding of how I work in friendships, what I need, and my limitations in friendship.

I am an introvert, meaning I recharge when I have alone time, to pray, read, write, decorate our home, play music, sew, bake, dream and rest. This is how I create a calm in my soul and how I refuel for the times when I do go out and fellowship with others. I plan playdates a week in advance so that I can structure my day or week to allow for a renewal of energy.

As an introvert, I have to say no to many other opportunities so that I can stay healthy for my family. As well, I struggle with anxiety. As an introvert, this makes me even more introverted at times. Thankfully, those who know me well understand this about me and support me in the boundaries I need to stay healthy.

When a friend takes an interest in my family, writing, music, or my work as a birth doula, I feel that I have truly found someone who cares for me as a person and the way God has designed me. We feel loved by those who seek to know us. Knowing who you are, your limits and boundaries and what you can give to a relationship is key.

Maintain Old Friendships
Old friendships are a treasure and have a history with one another that spans years, and even continues to grow in new ways over the years if they are maintained in even just a little way, every once in a while. These friendships become the thread that tie our stories together from one chapter to the next.

Every once in a while, I send a long email to a friend, or a hand-written postcard and occasionally we have a video call. It is so good to catch up personally with each other, knowing that each of us has taken the time to reach out, spend time thinking about what is going on in the other’s life, and sending words of encouragement. Personal letters are a wonderful way to maintain the treasures of old friendships. I want to write more hand-written letters as well. In an age of much online communication, hand-written paper letters become a treasured keepsake or memento, tucked away in a box or basket for years to come.

It takes intentional work to keep in contact with those back “home” whether friends or family. Two of our dear friends have now moved to Asia, several are in the Northwest and still more in Canada. How can you keep in touch and maintain that closeness with people you hold so dear with the hindrances of distance and time? It can still be achieved. Though we are thousands of miles apart and though its not quite the same as living in proximity to each other, we feel strengthened by friendships that have stood the test of time. And when we finally do see each other, we can simply pick up from that last communication and continue the conversation.

Build New Friendships
Each place we have lived in the last 10 years has accommodated starting new friendships at different speeds! Having just one baby and then two, allowed me to have a couple playdates a week. Our weekly schedule included Bible study nights, women’s ministry, family nights, and hosting people for dinner. But having a couple mornings where I could connect with another mom either one on one or at our church playgroup helped fill me up with meaningful conversation and like-minded friends. Our third child was 3 weeks old when we moved to a new city far away. I was busier, adjusting to a new environment, preparing to homeschool, unpacking moving boxes, getting to know new grocery stores and amenities in our city, and focused on the busy schedule of caring for my two toddlers and a newborn. Investing in new friendships took a lot longer, but eventually, the friendships did come!

A year ago, we moved clear across the country to attend seminary. Because of our living situation, several friendships took off at lightning speed and a sense of belonging came much more easily. Perhaps because many of us live in or near the same building and daily borrow recipe ingredients, babysit each other’s children and hang out at the communal playground! We needed quick and deep friendships knowing that we would only be here for three years. But friendships still take time and with four little ones in our family now, my time is more limited, especially since my husband is taking classes full time and working several part time jobs. My limitations are at the greatest they’ve ever been so I am thankful for the playdates I do have, the coffee dates that get jotted on the calendar 1-2 weeks in advance and the little snapshots of conversation I have at the playground with other moms or the 8am morning knocks on my door requesting coffee! These are my seminary sisters and this unique season of life is one I will cherish forever.

Serving Others
When moving to a new city or pursuing new friendships, it is easy to get consumed with my own needs for friendship and to put self at the center of relationships. When I’m tempted to do this, the Lord reminds me to put Him first, to love Him and love others. In elementary school, there came a time when I was struggling with loneliness. I confided in my mother that I didn’t feel like I had many friends in my class. One of the greatest pieces of advice she gave me regarding friendship was to go and look for the people who had no friends, those who were lonely too, or new to the school and befriend them! So from that point on, that’s what I did. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was a way to serve Christ and serve them. God brought increased joy to me in this new mindset and I was able to live with hands held open regarding friendships, whether they continued on or faded with time.

The biggest thing for me to remember is to entrust my friendships and need for community to God. He knows we need community and supportive relationships. He is our Good Shepherd and our Provider. Life lived in community as the people of God, reaching out together to a world in need of His love is even more important to Him than it is to us.

As we have just over a year left at seminary, our hearts and minds are looking towards the next giant step of faith we must take. All the decisions and work that needs to be done before that are like stepping stones. I am already praying for the friendships  we will have in our new location, new ministry, and new city. At the end of our seminary journey, we will know many more like-minded friends who will be dispersed to different corners of the country and the world. We will, again, walk through the emotional work of discerning where each new and old friendship will fit into our hearts and lives.

Friendship is a gift but it is also an endeavor requiring much effort, grace, and service. In Christian friendship we find that it is not so much about fulfilling our own needs to be known, but to serve others in knowing them, a laying down of our lives for our friends. In laying down our lives for another in humility and service, it is there that we model the friendship of Jesus. In Him, we find the strength to bravely reach out with hands held open.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

{Words and photography by Jennifer D Harris, copyright 2017}

Anna's Adoration

The temperature gauge on our truck shines the word ICE with a bold blue digital glow as I climb in from the cold and put on my seatbelt. Another week’s worth of food loaded into our suburban carriage with heated seats and a broken driver’s side window. God has provided once again. We are well fed and provided for in this season at seminary. My heart is content as we live with less, much less than we ever have before as a family. It is a lean Christmas but I’m thankful for that. Our hearts and minds are put in full dependence on God as we wait, as we work, as we study and prepare for the next season of ministry.

We are in a season of awaiting “further instructions,” if you will. Waiting, anticipating, and living in expectancy of what may soon be. We love maps and have them all over our home including a shower curtain in the kids’ bathroom. I often look at those maps and pause as I walk by. I take a moment to pray, “Lord, where will You send us next?” We wait. And just like how God knew we would one day arrive at this space and time, He also knows where He will guide us next. I wait with a quiet contentment, seeking to enjoy all that God has for us here in these three precious years that are so full and rich with learning, knowledge, friendship, and being poured into, so that we will be ready to be sent out again at the proper time and ready to pour back out. As one pastor’s wife told me, it is a season of being broken down, and being built back up.

In this season of Advent, the four Sundays before Christmas, Christians take time to reflect on the arrival of the long-awaited Redeemer. As Christians on this side of history, we live in an attitude of hope and expectation for our King Jesus, the Son of God, to return and make all things new, to rule and reign in glory and with peace and justice. The Good Shepherd who came two thousand years ago, will return to His flock with comfort and joy.

There are many themes to think on during this time of Advent from the Old Testament prophecies to the birth place of the baby King, to the emotions that his mother Mary must have been feeling and the messages from angels. Oftentimes, I’ve been drawn to those few mysterious verses in the book of Luke that talk about a woman named Anna, who waited with what I assume, was a quiet, faithful contentment.

And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.

Luke 2:36-38

The Gospel of Luke provides us with a glimpse into this one woman’s life, a small vignette of adoration. Besides what we know of her age at this time, her father’s name, her tribe of origin, how long she was married and widowed, and her role as a prophetess, we know that she was dedicated to a life of worship and prayer. Early on in my life, when I first read these verses, I was struck with a sense of mystery and awe. There was something about Anna that drew me in, something about this lifestyle of worship that I so longed to be a part of.

Anna was waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem. She was praying and waiting for the chosen Child to be born. In her waiting, she worshiped. It was not a passive waiting but a time of preparation. She waited with hope and anticipation, preparing her heart and trusting in the faithfulness of God to fulfill His promises, all the while continuing in the daily practice of worship, year after year, in expectancy of her Savior. I suspect it was quite the glorious commotion when the Child Jesus was brought in to the temple to be presented to the Lord with a sacrifice, and Simeon announced with great joy,

“Behold, this child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.” Luke 2:34-35

Positioned in this time of history, we look back at the Incarnation, Immanuel, God with us. We also, with joy, await the Savior’s second coming. We wait with longing hearts to look upon our King as He comes in glory to make all things new. Will He return in our lifetime? Will we be found, like Anna, faithfully living our days in service and worship to Him? Will Christ be the central focus of our lives? While we await the return of our King, let us remain steadfast in worship and prayer, giving thanks to God for His indescribable gift, and speaking of him to the world.

O source of all good,
What shall I render to you for the gift of gifts,
your own dear Son?

Herein is wonder of wonders:
he came below to raise me above,
was born like me that I might become like him.

Herein is love;
when I cannot rise to him he draws near on wings of grace,
to raise me to himself.

Herein is power;
when Deity and humanity were infinitely apart,
he united them in indissoluble unity,
the uncreate and the created.

Herein is wisdom;
when I was undone, with no will to return to him,
and no intellect to devise recovery,
he came, God-incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
as man to die my death,
to shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
to work out a perfect righteousness for me!

O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
and enlarge my mind!

Let me hear good tidings of great joy,
and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
my eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father!

Place me with ox, donkey, camel, goat,
to look with them upon my Redeemer’s face,
and in him account myself delivered from sin!

Let me with Simeon clasp the newborn child to my heart,
embrace him with undying faith,
exulting that he is mine and I am his!

In him you have given me so much that heaven can give no more.

~A Puritan Christmas Prayer

Be Thou My Vision ~ Wait For You {Part 3}

This is part 3 in a series titled, Wait For You, based off of my album of the same name released in 2005. This collection of original songs was written over a period of 10 years and were glimpses of my story up until that time. To read Part 1, click here. To read Part 2, click here. 

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.
Psalm 130:5-6

I sat in my cabin with journal and pen in hand. It was my free time and my cabin of girls were all out enjoying the various activities on their schedule. I was eager to spend time alone with God, to pour out my prayers to Him in my journal and really seek Him intentionally. I desired to spend that time alone with Jesus, in His Word and to pour out my life for Him. I was 16 years old and had one more year of high school left before I embarked on the next phase of life… adulthood! All I wanted was to live my life entirely for Jesus, serving Him in His church, His people, sharing the gospel, going wherever He would lead me and serving in whatever capacity He had for me. As I wrote in my journal, I prayed very specifically three key words that changed my life in very difficult and wonderful ways. I wrote and prayed the words, “Lord, break me.”

My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace;
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God
~Frederick Brook

Anyone who knows the Lord Jesus knows that He is a loving and gentle Good Shepherd. Those who truly know Him, also know that He will work all things together for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28). This is not some trite pat answer to suffering, but the very Word of God, given to us, in love, from the Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe. Its not meant to be a bandage for the wounded soul, but to actually bring healing and life and get to the heart of how we think and how we live. God’s Word is living and active. It is the healing Word.

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

That summer, I worked at camp for almost six weeks with one week break. I was utterly exhausted physically, emotionally and spiritually. We had prayed for campers, led activities, Bible studies, prayer times and had so much fun! But it was time for a break. In my sheer exhaustion, my moderate struggle with anxiety became overwhelming and I spiraled into a dark depression, even to the point that I thought God had left me.

I finished off the week and made it through only by God’s grace. I came home depleted and burned out. My parents wondered what had happened to their happy girl. It was hard to continue on week after week as well-meaning people sought to offer help, counseling, and encouragement. But I wasn’t getting better. This was heart-wrenching for my parents and they became my health advocates and pursued Christian counseling for me. I tried to make it through my final year of high school. It was the Lord who walked those school halls with me, as I continued to share my faith in and out of the classroom. I was determined that the enemy of my soul would not win this battle, but that all glory would be given to my Redeemer.

During that year, I experienced the darkness of depression, the dark night of my soul. Spiritually, I felt like I was living in a cloud. But there was a small glimmer of hope that I held onto. I hung on to my belief, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God exists and that He loves me. I knew that somehow He would help me overcome this depression. So I became a warrior of faith in my heart. I may have been quiet on the outside, but my faith was unshakeable. I felt a strong passion to debate atheistic teachers in my high school who expected the students not to challenge their world views. So I stood firm and unashamedly stood up and spoke truth into a spiritually dark school, confounding teachers, and causing them much frustration. I know that God was at work and I may never know the outcome of my witness until I get to Heaven. When I had the chance to speak publicly in my class, I chose to share about the love of Jesus and how He carries us in our brokenness. Students paid attention and listened. Some had tears. No matter how much I suffered from depression, I was determined that God would receive all the glory.

In Genesis 50:20, Joseph speaks to his brothers of their harm toward him. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” In the same way, I am convinced that the enemy of my soul meant evil against me through this depression, and yet God who is in complete control of the circumstances of my life, meant it for good. Therefore, I have peace that God in His sovereignty uses the struggles and trials of a Christian’s life for His ultimate purpose and our ultimate good, though we may not understand the reasons at the time. This is what my mother taught me as I went through this journey of depression. This is how she pointed me to Christ through one of the hardest times of her life, because seeing your daughter go through a heart-wrenching, paralyzing and unexplainable depression is one of the hardest things a mother could possibly go through.

A year after my graduation, God had done much to rebuild and restore me. I had plunged into God’s Word in a way that I never had before. I searched the scriptures for my identity and eternal security… Christ Himself. It was then that I enrolled in a discipleship school in Texas and spent a most amazing year being saturated in God’s Word five hours a day, five days a week. It was an amazing adventure with God. We went to San Luis Potosi, Mexico for a short term missions trip. While there, we visited a potter’s house. The leader took us through the entire process, step by step to see how one piece of pottery is made and formed.

The spinning wheel moved in constant motion as the clay formed in the potter’s gentle hands. The potter was making serving bowls. Once fully formed, he gently placed it on the drying rack to harden. It must be completely dried because any hint of water will expand under the intense heat of the kiln and cause cracks or explosions. Once it was dry, the Potter moved the vessels to the kiln room, a room of bricks and intense heat. I looked into this brick furnace where broken pieces of pottery lay scattered everywhere. Here, the heat can reach such high temperatures that many pieces simply crack and burst in the pressure. Once removed from the kiln, it is strong enough to handle to glaze. The glaze is prepared very carefully using specific recipes, consistent measuring, and careful application. Each bowl is different and unique. So much care and time and thought goes into each piece. The pieces are eventually ready to be put back into the kiln. During this process, the glaze turns to glass, it is completely transformed. When the bowls come out, they are complete. Our tour guide took a beautiful bowl, held it in his hands and told us that just as this piece of clay was molded by the hands of the potter, so we are molded by God, shaped into the vessels He wants us to be. We are put into the fire to test us, to strengthen us. Then we are decorated by His beauty and His righteousness. We are put back into the fire for more strengthening and transformation. God molds us.

Then, the tour guide did something that shocked us all. He opened his hands and the exquisitely fashioned vessel fell to the ground shattering into a hundred pieces. He exclaimed, with tears in his eyes… “then God breaks us”.

I stood stunned in that little Mexican store, heart pounding. This wasn’t just a tour of a potter’s house, this was a life lesson, a parable that touched the core of who I was and what God had already done in me. I will never forget that day. His final point was that God gathers up all the shattered broken pieces and puts us back together again, reshaping us, and lovingly transforming us to be vessels for His glory!

It was also during that year at Bible school that my heart grew to desire overseas missions work, living a life of worship and ministry in the church. I was even ready to go into a jungle to share the gospel with unreached people groups or to Russia to share in a friend’s ministry. I was ready to go wherever and whenever God called me. God gave me a desire to be like Anna, the prophetess in Luke 2:36-38, who lived and ministered in the temple day and night.

And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher… She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem. Luke 2:36-38

It was also during this time at Bible school that the hymn, Be Thou My Vision, became my life song. This hymn was word for word, my heart’s desire.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
naught be all else to me, save that thou art –
thou my best thought, by day or by night,
waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

Be thou my wisdom, and thou my true word;
I ever with thee and thou with me, Lord;
thou my great Father, I thy true son;
thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

Be thou my battle shield, sword for my fight;
be thou my dignity, thou my delight,
thou my soul’s shelter, thou my high tow’r;
raise thou me heav’n-ward, O Pow’r of my pow’r.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
thou mine inheritance, now and always:
thou and thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
may I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heav’n’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
still be my vision, O Ruler of all.

~Translated from the Old Irish hymn by Mary E. Byrne

For those who have never experienced the darkness of depression, it is hard to empathize and understand what the sufferer is going through. For those who do recover, partially and even fully, it is still a battle. When my grandmother was in her elderly years, she said to me one day, “There are many battles in this life.” Her statement was profound. Her faith was strong and steadfast in her Redeemer. On the day she died, she was surrounded by her living children as they sang hymns to usher her into the arms of God.

It was in the valley where I learned to give the sacrifice of praise. I learned to worship Him in the midst of suffering. My desire was to become wholly His and His alone. It was through those difficult seasons that the Lord drew me to Himself, and restored me. With His hands to carry me and His love to heal me, my response to this was to sing in worship of Him all the days of my life.

At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God’s hand until we learn to hear Him…Watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut. Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet…When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light.”
~Oswald Chambers

For the Children's Sake ~ Our Philosophy of Educating with Grace

There seems to be a Schaeffer theme threading its way through our story. In 2007, my husband and I spent six weeks at the Swiss L’Abri where we lived, worked and studied with a small group of students from around the world. Our days were divided into work and study. Study took place at the Farel House which was a chalet that served as a library containing many books and lectures on tape. Yes, in fact the first time I heard Tim Keller preaching on marriage was spent listening to a tape of a lecture he had given in the 80’s on marriage. The work portion of our day included gardening, cutting down thorn bushes, making meals in one of the staff chalet’s, vacuuming and ironing clothes in the home of the Schaeffer’s granddaughter, chopping vegetables in Edith’s kitchen, and other ordinary tasks that needed to get done in the L’abri community. Edith, herself, was living nearby up the mountainside from L’Abri, and being cared for by family in her old age and frail health. And finally, the work portion always included a short pause for high tea and biscuits. I had heard of Francis and Edith Schaeffer but had never read any of their books. Lounging in their former living room and perusing books in their sunroom was my first introduction to the Schaeffer family.

~The home of Francis and Edith Schaeffer at L’Abri in Huemoz, Switzerland~

We did not have children at that time, so the topic of education was not something that we thought a lot about when we were starting out together, discovering Scottish islands, German castles, and the romantic streets of France. I was busy learning how to knit my first baby blanket, but I wasn’t quite ready to jump ahead and figure out what kind of education we’d be able to give them.

As our family grew, our personal education philosophies were birthed and began to take shape. We read a slew of books and articles, talked to friends and searched our hearts for how we wanted to shape our own family culture. Our convictions went through many stages of discovery, development, and transformation. Eventually, I came across a book called For The Children’s Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and School, written by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, daughter of Francis and Edith Schaeffer. Our philosophy of education has been fine-tuned through these early years. As I have read Macaulay’s book, I have embraced it as my own philosophy of education and the model to which I wish to aspire to as we educate our children. For the Children’s Sake is largely based upon the ideas of renowned educator, Charlotte Mason and her philosophy of educating children as born persons using living ideas. Her book does not promote just one place of education, but goes deeper to the foundational aspects that begin within the family, and will underly any good, wholesome, holistic path of education with a Christian worldview.

“When a baby is picked up, spoken to, and loved, he is starting his education as God planned it. For all our lives we are human beings, in an active state of learning, responding, understanding. Education extends to all of life… The truly educated person has only had many doors of interest opened. He knows that life will not be long enough to follow everything through fully.”

-Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, For the Children’s Sake

For the Children’s Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and School is a book for all Christian parents and teachers whether your children attend a public school, a charter school, a Fine Arts school, a Christian private school, or are homeschooled and the many varieties of wonderful co-ops that exist. This is the wisdom I see in Susan Schaeffer Macaulay. She humbly acknowledges that God doesn’t have the same plan for each family, but that God is so much bigger than our little boxes and labels that we try to fit Him and everyone else into. She sees beyond the methods, and environments available to different families, communities and parts of the world, and gets to the heart of the foundation of education; an education that can be implemented by parents in whatever environment you are in. I know many parents in different educational contexts who naturally implement these ideas already.

Based largely on Charlotte Mason’s ideas, this masterpiece gives both parents and teachers a vision for what education can be, a joy filled journey of learning, discovery, and preparation for life. The Christian truths and practical ideas can be applied in every educational context, and wherever your child’s learning takes place.

The foundations of this living education focus on the child as a born person with a unique personality and a responsibility to serve the child for who he or she is. Respecting and honoring this young human as made in the image of God and allowing the child to play and explore the world around him or her. Teaching habits of virtue, showing children living ideas of the world outside of themselves and that they have a place in time and space in this universe. Giving children the opportunity to learn excellence in music and art, exploring nature and being outdoors. Giving children the opportunity to participate in household chores, and balancing that with creative play and free time, from which the fruit of creativity will ultimately produce their own great works.

“We have to look long and hard at the individual child, our home, school, and outside influences. Just because a home or school is ‘Christian’ does not mean that the child is being properly helped, grounded, educated as a whole person. We accept that nothing is perfect, but we try to get our priorities right. We are ready to take time and trouble to see that our children aren’t swept off in a roaring tide. But we want more than that. We pray for a person who is like the individual mentioned in Psalm 1. He has grown like an ad tree by a stream. Storms may roar, a branch or two may snap, but the oak stands firmly grounded – so much so that small creatures seek shelter therein. There is no one method to achieve such a mature person. There is no perfect or complete situation. We must pray for the individual, pray for wisdom, open our eyes, choose priorities.”

-Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, For the Children’s Sake

Recently, I have chosen the term “grace-schooling” as our educational philosophy. It leans in full dependence on Christ and His grace to lead, shepherd and sustain us in the choosing of educational methods appropriate for each individual child, each season of our family life, and based on the needs of our children and us as parents. This type of philosophy is not a stagnant, one size fits all, forever and ever, type of philosophy. It sees the family as a team unit. When something is not working for one member of the family, the whole family needs to make adjustments to help that individual so that the whole family can move forward and thrive together as a family unit.

If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1 Corinthians 12:26

Grace schooling is fluid, capable of continuously moving forward and transforming if and as the need arises. This is grace, not law. It is freedom to assess your family culture, family size, family limitations and preferences. It is freedom to see a need arise in your family whether it is health, financial, or behavioral and to have the space and willingness to make a change that will move the family forward together, as a team, in the most beneficial way possible. Because of this, For the Children’s Sake is a vision of consistency in the underlying principles of what we want our children’s education to look like even though we may have to change the method from time to time.

Some families may never need to make a change. For some, it may mean choosing to homeschool one or more children. For some, it may mean, putting the children into a good public school and getting involved as a parent there. For some, your unique situation might mean finding a Christian private school or a Fine Arts school where drama and music are a main focus, and for some it may mean finding a special needs school that will more strongly support your special needs child. For others, like us, it may mean a mix, according to the various unique needs that are present in your family at the time. No one can make this decision for you, and no one has the right to judge your decision. As a Christian, you have the Lord to watch over your coming and going, who sees your needs, cares more deeply for your family than anyone else could, and who has promised to be your Provider, your Comforter, and your Covenant-keeping Father.

As a new school year begins, may you find that His grace is sufficient for you in the path He has led you to and may you hold it lightly with open hands for He may yet change it and lead you in a different direction, and yet the foundation will remain the same. You’ve been given a task to raise children to follow God, and it is for their sakes that you lay an unchanging foundation that will be the constancy in the midst of unknowns and variables in the future. Pray, research, study, and then lay your decisions at the Lord’s feet asking Him to open and close doors as He sees fit, for His glory, purpose, and for the children’s sake.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Matthew 11:28-30 The Message