A Little Night Music in February

Music helps us to "keep time" in the sense of keeping us in touch with time, not just time as an ever-flowing stream that bears all of us away at last, but time also as a stream that every once in a while slows down and becomes transparent enough for us to see down to the stream bed the way, at a wedding, say, or watching the sun rise, past, present, and future are so caught up in a single moment that we catch a glimpse of the mystery that, at its deepest place, time is timeless. - Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

At sunrise, past, present and future were all bound up in one moment as I saw strawberry plants proliferating through the winter weeds from last year’s garden.

I have never read anything by Buechner, but when I came across an article last year about his death, I realized I had heard his name before, in what season of life, I cannot remember, but his words dove deep into my heart that I knew I must read his writing at some point in the future. This month, through an online bookclub, I am making the effort to read one of his works. When I searched the internet for quotes on music, this one above met me in a personal way. Music does help us keep time with the fleeting moments of our lives. In fact, for me, it is a way to look back through my life at different stages and seasons. I often think in terms of the soundtrack of my life. Because music is such an important part of my life and being, when I hear a certain song, it brings me back to times and places and allows me to see “down to the stream bed” of that particular moment in time and what God was doing in my life back then. The following are my February selections to share some songs that might join you on your journey, and if nothing else, it may be a eine kleine nachtmusik to enjoy at the close of the day with a cup of Sleepytime tea.

Wait for the Lord - Taizé Community, music by J.Berthier

“Wait for the Lord, whose day is near.

Wait for the Lord, keep watch, take heart.”

Gathered together, and yet feeling each alone in a way, we knelt before the Lord with men and women from various nations, on the carpeted cement floor before candlelight and tapestry. Christians from various denominations and backgrounds were gathered to worship Jesus as a global Body. Awkwardly, we flipped through our songbooks full of worship songs in English, French, Latin, German, Zulu, Japanese, Tamil, and so on. We stumbled our way through singing songs in other languages and took in this experience of the Bride of Christ, believers in Jesus from different languages, tribes, and nations, gathered together in worship.

This was the first time I heard and sang this beautiful song of waiting and anticipation. The Taizé Community is an ecumenical monastic community nestled in the lush landscape of Taize, France, just a short bus ride from the small town of Cluny in eastern France. My husband and I traveled there sixteen years ago as part of a Christian worship & arts study trip. The kind people who lived and worked there, led our small group in worship, in work, and in discussion for our week long stay. I remember going for walks on the snow-covered bridge, the sun setting early, and enjoying simple, yet nourishing, meals from red plastic bowls. There was a stillness and calm reverence just being there. There was laughter in the midst of awkward cultural differences and language barriers. We all knew that to be there was a gift, and one where the Lord was doing a work in each of our hearts and minds. I long to go back there one day. It is a dream of mine.

We sing this song at our church plant. It is a song of perpetual advent, one that can be sung in the season of Advent, but also one that can be sung all year as we wait for the Lord’s Second Coming as He promised.

A winter walk at Taize, January 2007

Love Song for a Savior - Jars of Clay

“Someday He'll call her

And she will come running

She’ll fall in His arms

The tears will fall down

And she'll pray

I want to fall in love with you”

In 1994, a new Christian band came on the scene, Jars of Clay. Their album was named, Frail, and that year I was sixteen years old, and I was very frail. It was the year my life was upended by a chemical imbalance and anxiety disorder that turned me inside out and left me in a Job-like wilderness of confusion, brokenness, and despair.

It was also the year that the Holy Spirit was raising up song writers and music that would deeply touch me, ignite my emotions, and stir millions around the world in a revolution of heartfelt worship to Jesus. 1994 was a year of incredible worship music. This song was on repeat in my little car as I pushed the cassette tape into our ancient Toyota Corolla with no air conditioning, windows down, hair flying in the wind. I was sixteen, I was anxious, and I needed my Savior.

I don’t know the songwriters’ intentions behind this song or the story of how it came to be, or the industry standards each song and album needs to meet to make money. All I know is how this song impacted me. The Lord used this song as He stitched my frail mind back together. I knew His gentle eyes looked on me with blood-bought love and salvation. The strong sense of His sovereignty and love for me personally was something I needed very much, and something I wept for. The lyrics opened up the reality of multitude Scriptures and teaching I had received for years, and Jesus won my love and devotion, forever.

All throughout Scripture, God’s love for His people and each individual child of His is on full display, blood & covenant display, repeated over and over in the sacrificial system of the Old Testament temple to the actual incarnating work of Jesus the Messiah, whose love was expressed everywhere throughout Scripture from clothing the fallen human race, to His individual care for men and women in Old Testament antiquity, to the poetry of the Psalms, the messages of the Prophets, the redeeming love of a Savior, the God-Man who came to rescue souls from eternal judgement. His love for you is displayed, and He invites you into this Psalm-like desperate love and acceptance, this intimate relationship of Him with you every second of every day, the One who will never leave or forsake you. He is the One who is there with you now. The love He portrays through the picture of marriage between a husband and a wife, is just a glimpse of the unimaginable love of the Creator for His people.

Yes, Jesus did call me.

Yes, I did come running to my Rescuer.

Yes, the tears did fall down, over and over with love.

And yes, I did pray, “I want to fall in love with You”.

And I still look up into the sky and tell Jesus, “I love you. I love being loved by you.” I cry out from the depth of my being to love the One who first loved me.

Wildflowers by Tom Petty

Since it is February, and St. Valentine’s day is today, I want to share a little love song. In our newlywed years, my husband introduced me to a whole vast repertoire of music that was new to me. Tom Petty’s Wildflowers was one of those songs that we put on repeat in our little blue 2 door hatchback as we traversed the countryside on our adventures as husband and wife. I dedicate this one to my man:

“You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

You belong with your love on your arm

You belong somewhere you feel free…” - Tom Petty

Walking in Paris with my love, 2007.

Thank you for reading, beloved ones of the Father. May you walk through fields of wildflowers, sail on gentle waves, and find a song whispering to you of light, and life, and the love of the Savior.

Praying Psalm 57 For Your City

Summer Sunflowers beside our church plant in Yakima, Washington

In the work of church planting is an ever-present awareness of one’s dependence upon God’s character and His desire to establish a new local outpost of His kingdom in a specific city. We are always in need of a conscious awareness of our utter dependence on God, to be sure, but there are specific seasons of life where the weakness of our human limitations and frailty is set on display, and one is absolutely aware of just how dependent we are on the sovereign plan and actions of God. We are made keenly aware!

I’ve been made aware of this fact once again while reading God’s Smuggler (by Brother Andrew with John & Elizabeth Sherrill) aloud to my teens and tweens. I read missionary books and Christian biographies to my children for many reasons: first, I love this genre! Second, I want them to learn the stories of Christians who were totally sold out to the Lord, completely committed to living for Him, abandoning everything else this world has to offer to lay their lives down for the sake of Jesus and how He calls them to live. My prayer and desire for them is to catch on to what the Holy Spirit is doing in their time and to be a light in this world for the gospel of Jesus. So I read these stories to them to show them that there have been many people, at all times and places in this world, who have lived purposefully to make Him known in their spheres of life and work. They have witnessed God’s mighty acts, provision, and intervention in their lives as they laid down everything to follow Him, wherever He would lead. Their stories always include prayer and an honest dependence on God.

The most important work of church planting is prayer: prayer for the church, prayer for the city, and prayer for evangelism efforts. So we pray. Sometimes we don’t know how to pray or what to pray specifically. There are many types of prayers: passionate heartfelt prayers, quiet and calm prayers of silence and waiting, prayers filled with knowledge of God and His work in this world that remind the person praying of God’s faithfulness and power and sovereignty. There are pre-written prayers that help us to pray things we wouldn’t think of on our own. There are ancient prayers and written prayers spoken by Christians all over the world.

As you think about prayer, consider praying Scripture. You may want to write down your prayers, specific prayers for individuals, a specific prayer for your community. Recently, I came across Psalm 57 in my regular Bible reading plan. As I read through it, I realized this is a wonderful psalm to pray for our family, for others, for our church, and for our city. Praying God’s Word back to him is like a well-choreographed dance with the Father as the very words He inspired to be written (God-breathed words) are the words we then use to pray the exact will of God and ask for His help, the help He desires to give us. Here is one example of how to pray Psalm 57 (ESV) for your city:

A Prayer Based on Psalm 57

Be merciful to the city of Yakima, O Lord.

Cause Yakima to take refuge in You 

Let Yakima take refuge in the shadow of your wings

till the storms of destruction pass by.

We cry out to you, God Most High,

You fulfill Your purpose for Yakima

You will send from heaven and save us.

God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness to Yakima.

We live in the midst of lions, among much brokenness in this city,

Among the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, 

Whose tongues are sharp swords.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over all the earth!

The evil things that are done in this city are too wicked to name.

The news headlines bring shock and despair.

My heart is steadfast, O God,

My heart is steadfast!

I will sing songs of praise to You as I drive through the city.

I will open the windows and declare Your praise in Yakima!

I will fill the streets of Yakima with your praises on my lips.

For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over Yakima and all the earth!

In the Name of King Jesus,

Amen.

Let us be ever watchful and aware to see how God will answer our prayers in this amazing adventure of faith!

Light in the Shadowlands

“Surrender-stillness-a ready welcoming of all stripping, all loss, all that brings us low, low into the Lord's path of humility--a cherishing of every whisper of the Spirit's voice, every touch of the prompting that comes to quicken the hidden life within: that is the way God's human seed-vessels ripen, and Christ becomes ‘magnified’ even through the things that seem against us.”

― Lilias Trotter

This quote, by missionary and artist, Lilias Trotter, takes me to a place of silence and awareness. It is an invitation to trust the Lord in the darkness and to wait for His light.

Our beloved church family, celebrating the feast day of Epiphany.

For the past several years, we have celebrated Epiphany with our church. We all bring delicious food, appetizers, and desserts to share. We dress up with layers, boots, and mittens and head out to a friend’s house where we haul our Christmas trees, crisp and dead from weeks of delighting our homes with the scent of evergreen and littering our floors with plentiful pine needles! This year, there were even fireworks before the bonfire. We gather around the small, brooding fire as my husband shares a liturgy to commemorate the arrival of the Magi, princes and Kings from distant lands, to visit the royal infant King who came to save all the nations. The Light of the World has come to all nations! One by one, the Christmas trees are stacked one on top of another, and the light from the fire grows and grows, as embers fill the sky in a magical swirl of beauty. The night grows, the shadows blanket the snow, but the light is growing steadily, and it fills us with joy.

We live in a world of darkness and brokenness. But we have not been left alone to wander aimlessly through this journey of life. Believers in Jesus have been given, quite literally, a Lamp to light our path. That light is Jesus Himself. That light is the Word.

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” - John 8:12

His light opens eyes to see who He really is. His light shows people how to live life in His Kingdom. And just like the light from our Epiphany fire grows and scatters darkness away, He sends out His light, the light we so desperately need.

The kind people at the PCA EnCourage blog invited me to share some thoughts. Join me there as I share more deeply about my own struggle against the darkness, and how the light of Jesus keeps illuminating my path. May you experience the healing and strengthening graces of His light shining upon you today.

Light in the Shadowlands

A Little Night Music in January

Violin, Augustine Haugland, c. 1937

I walked into my piano teacher’s front room to wait my turn for lessons. My teacher amazed me. I can still see her youthful smiling face, and see her introducing to me a new piece I was going to learn. She sat down at the piano, and put her whole soul and body into playing the masterpiece. All the while, a joy so passionate radiated from her face with an indestructible smile and eyes closed. I was in awe of this woman who displayed great strength and fervor for her creative work in this world. Learning classical piano from my teacher was not only an education in music, but it also opened my mind to other places and languages and art. There was a large poster on the wall in her front room with the title Eine kleine Nachtmusik, a little night music. I was studying both French and German languages that year and it brought me a little whisper of joy to be able to read this song title in German. The piece was by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Listening to it now as I write brings forth a little giggle. It is so playful and youthful, like an uncontrollable smile just almost breaking into laughter.

This year, one of my writing goals is to share a post each month about music. I will share about songs that are currently on my playlists, streaming through both my truck stereo and kitchen streaming device while I work to prepare oh so much food for my growing teens and tweens. The kitchen is the heartbeat of the home, my father-in-law likes to say, and I agree, especially when there is music!

This month, I will share a few selections of music that have been in my soundtrack of recent months. And, kind readers, if you find a selection that companions your pathway this year, I would be delighted. The following are my January selections to share with you. May you be blessed with a little night music.

The Lark Ascending - (arr. for violin and choir by Paul Drayton) Performed by VOCES8 and Jack Liebeck

The first time I heard a portion of this song was actually in the “early o’s” as my hubby likes to call the 2000’s! It was the intro to a song on a live David Crowder album. I was stunned when listening to the soaring violin solo and was taken captive by its originality and the rise and fall of beauty in sound. This last Fall, I learned of a choral group from England called VOCES8. As I explored their music, I found this song performed by them, and was immediately gratified by the beauty in every note as it tells the story of a bird in flight.

O God Beyond All Praising - Performed by Sarah Kroger, Words by Michael A. Perry (1982), Tune composed by Gustav Holst (1918)

At the end of 2021, I remember looking at an auto-generated list sent to my email about which songs I listened to the most that year on my music streaming app, and this one was top of the list. I don’t even remember how I came across this recording and version of this song, but it’s here to stay. Sarah Kroger’s voice is clear and bold, giving praise to the Triune God through this more modern hymn written actually when I was a young child. And of course, the triumphant orchestral suite by Gustav Holst, The Planets, provides the landscape for this song of praise. In fact, I would like to study more about Gustav’s composition, written between 1914-1917, and based on each of the seven known planets (not including Earth or Pluto… where are we at with Pluto these days?) at that time in history. The combination of words and music both give glory to God, the Creator, beyond all praising.

In the Bleak Midwinter - Performed by John Van Deusen, Words by Christina Rossetti, Tune by Gustav Holst

Honestly, I didn’t know much about this song until researching for this post. I did not know that this song was originally a poem by English poet, Christina Rossetti, nor that Gustav Holst who composed The Planets, as mentioned above, also composed the tune used in this famous Christmas carol. In fact, the first time I heard this song was on Canadian singer-songwriter Sarah McLachlan’s Wintersong album released in 2006. When searching this past Christmas for new music to listen to, I came across this album by John VanDeusen. Before listening to the music, I was already hooked by the album artwork of a vintage rural scene in winter. The simple and quiet acoustic style was warmly received by the whole family.

Winter, by Joseph Rubens Powell

I look forward to curating a list of songs to share here in February. Be blessed and may you find wonder in ordinary tasks and the beauty of created order all around you.

“I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.”
-Albert Einstein

The Liturgy of a New Year: a Poem, a Pot of Tea, a Song, & a Prayer

Our feet crunched the snow with every step through the little Bavarian village tucked into the Cascade Mountains of Washington. Surrounded by festive lights and happy tourists sledding, we walked through the fairytale town of yesteryear. A little adventure in the mountains, a time of respite as a family, a time just for us to celebrate the covenant of our marriage, our 16th wedding anniversary. We ate pretzels and remembered our early years. We browsed through the book shop, perused a charming pottery and art store, tried on hats, and enjoyed the culinary offerings of this alpine village almost buried in snow.

The space between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day is always a joy for me. The beauty of the Christmas season, the lights and the snow, the comfort of blankets and slippers, the contentment of loved ones enjoying their gifts, intentional moments of tradition to curate and add to family memories, the celebration of our wedding anniversary, the peace of knowing my Redeemer is alive and what He came to accomplish, and the joy of knowing He will return to bring the fullness of His Kingdom and reign over the whole earth… all these things bring a calm to my soul and quiet peace as I sense the closing of the year and the beginning of a new one. A new year dawns, and I am drawn to a favorite poem, a favorite reflection, a favorite song, and a new year’s prayer. It is my delight to share these things here.

A Poem - At the Gate of the Year, by Minnie Louise Haskins

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.
And he replied:
Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.

So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night.
And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart be still:
What need our little life
,
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life's stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God's thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

The first time I came to know this poem was in the early 2000’s while living abroad in Scotland. A dear friend and missionary gave me a portion of this poem, and it embedded itself into my soul as a message of hope and light.

A Reflection - Tea & Liturgy by Sandra McCracken

“As the water boils and the afternoon sun calls out the evening shadows, a new space opens up for us to listen to each other, and to meditate on less urgent but more significant matters. As we wait for the tea to steep, the unspoken, dried out thoughts within us are now able to expand like the leaves in the warm water. And when the fragrant tea pours into our cup, the nourishment begins to set in. In Bird By Bird, Anne Lamott speaks about the business of writing. She persuades us that the best part of being a writer is not the thrill of success or book sales — it is the joy of writing for its own sake. She draws a parallel with tea: ‘While you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony.’ ” - Sandra McCracken

This article deeply impressed me over a decade ago when I first read it, and I often come back to it, even for brief moment of recollection when I steep the tea, when I compose hand-written cards, and when I take time to slow down and allow my mind to embrace the present moment. I will probably forever come back to these beautifully written words all my life:

“I want to write love letters with a paper and pen. I want to make house calls. I want to waste time on things that matter. On things that leave a mark in this world and the next. I want to carve out time to stop and boil the water. To bring out the china and the silver. To ask good questions of myself and my neighbors. And to listen patiently for the subtle answers. I want to live a life of love and liturgy.”
-Sandra McCracken



A Song - The Space Between by Sandra McCracken

“Free fall, feet off the ground
A clean, white page, fresh snow, no sound
Here as we wait, from dark to dawn
New paths before us, the old is gone
Unplug the lights, take down the tree
The less we have, the less we need
From Christmas night to New Year's Eve
We bless the space that’s in between
We bless the space that’s in between”

A Prayer - New Year, The Valley of Vision

Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,
sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from thee,
but may rely on thy Spirit to supply every thought,
speak in every word, direct every step,
prosper every work, build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire to show forth thy praise;
testify thy love, advance thy kingdom.
I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year, with
thee, O Father, as my harbor,
thee, O Son, at my helm,
thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.

A lantern post in the mountains… Narnia? Hmmm…

A New Year to Abide in God's Word

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

John 15:1-5

In the time between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, many of us begin reflecting over and evaluating the past year. We scribble our last tasks in our current day planners and calendars to finish out the year, and prepare to open a fresh new calendar. I grasp this new dayplanner in my hands, carefully chosen from the ocean of planners available online. Every page is blank and clean, like a fresh start of possibilities. It is one of my favorite year-end activities as, one by one, the birthdates, anniversaries, camping trips, church events, daily tasks, and family reunions get jotted down.

This is also a season when gardeners and arborists begin planning out their pruning schedules. When I look at the raspberry canes covered in snow, I start to envision a future of neat and tidy rows of raspberries with healthy green shoots and plump red berries for smoothies and muffins. But there won’t be any good fruit if I don’t first prune the plant. What needs to be pruned? All the brown canes from last year’s fruits which are now dead and will not produce next summer; all the sick and diseased canes, and all the unhealthy weak ones that have shriveled up due to parasites or mold. Once pruned, the raspberry plant is protected and given a better chance at producing good fruit that will bring nourishment.

In many ways, that is what we are doing when we look back and evaluate the past year. Wisdom invites us to evaluate what in our lives needs to be pruned away, cut off, and thrown in the fire. We easily fall into habits that cause us harm instead of fruit. We often don’t want to go through the hard work of pruning and removing unhealthy habits that don’t produce any lasting fruit in our lives. There may be some habits in your life that God is asking you to prune away and burn in the fire of His sanctification. Consider for a moment what God can do in a life that is pruned by His gentle hands.

In the same way, God desires that we abide in Him and in His Word. The word “abide” means to remain and dwell in a state of continuous presence and endurance. There are many ways we abide in God’s Word, one of which is the weekly public reading of Scripture when we gather on the Lord’s Day. Other ways of abiding in God’s Word might be placing Scripture verses around our homes and work places, even in our vehicles, on the mirrors, or even tattooed on our arms! To know and live in God’s will, we must be feeding on the Word and allowing it to change us. Another way to abide daily in God’s Word is to set aside a portion of time or times each day to read Scripture. After 45 years of life, the past 5 years have been the most consistent for myself in this endeavor.

While we were still at seminary in St Louis, Craig told me about a Bible reading plan called Community Bible Reading/Seeing Jesus Together. I looked at the reading plan and saw that it only required two chapters a day from me. For me, at that stage of life and seminary and parenting little ones, I knew I had to keep it to a manageable and realistic-for-me amount of reading. I decided to give it a try. This January, I’ll start my 6th year of this reading plan, and it is a joy to look back on these years of God’s Word saturating my heart and mind, discovering so much more than I ever thought possible from the Word.

Habits take a lot of time to develop, and a regular act of the will to choose to accomplish. I’m not sharing this to boast about my Scripture reading habits. I am sharing this to show that it is possible to develop a regular daily habit of Scripture reading. It is possible, after so many failed attempts, to enact a structured plan for regular immersion in the Word of God. It is also possible to develop an appetite for God’s Word that cannot be quenched, that makes me long to get up in the morning, get my coffee and blanket, and sit alone with the Word, and experience the communion of hearing His voice in the Scriptures. I want the Lord to produce as much fruit as possible in my short, little life. But, like He says, “…apart from me you can do nothing.”

So let the Lord prune your habits, schedules, and priorities this new year. Ask Him to help you to read His Word, one chapter at a time, and let His Word nourish you that you may abide in Him and in His Word.

The following is a brief list to begin your search for a Bible reading plan that works for you:

CBR Journal/Seeing Jesus Together

Daily Grace Co.

Daily Prayer Project

The Daily Office Lectionary

Every Day in the Word

M’Cheyne Reading Plan

Wintering, Watchfulness, and Unlikely Advent Companions

As the Winter Solstice approaches, the days are growing shorter. The light which used to rise in the northeast now rises over the Ahtanum Ridge southeast of our home. Instead of setting behind Mount Rainier, it now sets directly behind Mount Adams, another of our majestic volcanoes that dress the landscape of the Northwest. Our windows face this most beautiful of dramas that christens every morning with beauty and blesses every evening with its swift benediction.

The evenings of the Pacific Northwest are the darkest of the contiguous United States where the sun rises today at 7:38am and sets at 4:14pm. The days will continue to decrease in light until December 21st, the darkest day of the year, nicknamed “The Big Dark” where we will only have 8.5 hours of sunlight. And north of the border, where I come from, it is even slightly shorter. This is the season of wintering and watchfulness. As we prepare for the onset of winter and wait for the light to begin growing again, the natural world around us urges us on toward preparation, both in our dwellings and in our hearts.

After 8 inches of snow fell last weekend, I tromped across our yard to the chicken coop where our ten little hens live. Poor little things! For days, they did not come out of their coop, terrified as they were and certainly wondering, “What is all this scary white stuff falling from the sky?”. I changed their bedding of pine shavings, filled their feeder with pellets, brought fresh water, and collected their eggs. I also took a snow shovel and tried to clear a path for them so they could see the familiar ground and attempt to step outside their shelter into the crisp blue sky.

I’ve been able to be attentive to my heart in an intentional way this advent. I’m pondering many things and trying to be watchful to what the Lord is teaching me, even if it’s just to be still. Since summer 2020, I have been waking more often in the middle of the night and early in the morning. Early morning quiet time has become an anticipated part of my morning routine. I sit beside the Christmas tree, decorated by our young lady and three growing boys who are, one by one, beginning to tower above me. One day, I noticed two of the new little birds my mother got for our tree when she and my dad were visiting. It was like these birds were watching me: two little companions to join me on my advent journey this year. It made me laugh. They are quite unlikely though, specifically because they are not real, but also because I never planned for them to be sitting there, watching me. But this is where they were placed when we decorated the tree, and I love that they are there “watching”. I’ve always loved woodland creatures, real or stuffed, and so there they sit. They’ve become my advent companions on these dark early mornings as I sit and read Scripture and meditate on Advent poems and thoughts and try to practice being still while I wait for the light to come.

Another unlikely advent companion is a set of songs I loved so dearly when they first were released into the world in the summer of 1998. This was an unlikely advent addition as it is not a Christmas album. And yet, it is everything that Advent and Christmas is. This past November, I was listening to all the old Rich Mullins songs I had listened to on repeat as a teenager and early college student, simply because I was reminded of this singer songwriter.

In summer ‘98, I had been out of high school for 3 years already with a year of Bible school, experience working at a Christian daycare, and several classes from a local university college tucked into my portfolio of post-secondary adventures. I had just returned home from a mission trip to Argentina and was trying to figure out the direction the Lord wanted me to go. I was taking my sweet time and the Lord was too, but all, I believe, for a purpose. Jesus is never late. I sought the Lord for guidance, and I couldn’t shake the desire to go back to Bible College. It’s what I wanted more than anything. As I prepared to switch colleges and enter back into Bible and ministry training, I discovered a beautiful collection of songs by the late Rich Mullins called The Jesus Record. It became my anthem and driving music to inspire me as I drove around the town of my beginnings and settled into my new life at Bible college.

Rich Mullins had died several months prior to the recording and release of his last album. Musician friends and artists completed it for him. I believe it’s one of his most powerful works of music that he recorded. The A side of the cassette tape is his own demo versions of the songs with just a tape recorder, a piano and a guitar. These are some of my favorite versions. The B side is the more polished, finished renditions of this collection which I love equally.

Recently, I stumbled upon a new recording of Rich Mullins’ songs called The Bellsburg Sessions. This album is a recreation of some of his original songs released just this year, 25 years after his tragic death. The familiar lyrics of these vintage songs remind me of that definitive time in my life as I wandered through the early years of adulthood. As I’ve been enjoying these songs afresh, I’ve been reminded of one that has become an unlikely advent companion in my heart, the song, My Deliverer:

Joseph took his wife and her child and they went to Africa
To escape the rage of a deadly king
There along the banks of the Nile, Jesus listened to the song
That the captive children used to sing

They were singing
"My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by
My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by"

Through a dry and thirsty land, water from the Kenyon heights
Pours itself out of Lake Sangra's broken heart
There in the Sahara winds Jesus heard the whole world cry
For the healing that would flow from His own scars

The world was singing
"My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by
My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by”…

-Rich Mullins, The Jesus Record

This song is God-haunted, as it takes the listener to the banks of the Nile River in Egypt where the Hebrew slaves labored unceasingly under their oppressors, the Egyptian Regime in Old Testament times. These Hebrew children cried out for God to hear them, and He did.

“During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.” Exodus 2:23-25

Jesus, knowing the history of his people, of his ancestors, knew the cries of His people for deliverance. They were awaiting a deliverer, a Messiah, the Promised Seed, and he was the one prophesied to come. He came as a baby, born to a virgin, an “in-flesh-ment” as Eugene Peterson once called it. He came for his people, and he came for all nations.

He came for me. And He will come again for us.

At the time of first hearing this song, the Lord gave me hope and reminded me, during many trials, that my Deliverer, Jesus Himself, was coming back and He would rescue me from all the struggles. He would deliver me and heal me. So when I listen to this song now, 25 years later, I am reminded of that beautiful gift of hope He gave me in this song and through His Word and by His Holy Spirit! We are awaiting our Lord’s second coming. Until he returns, we are in a perpetual season of Advent. No one knows the day or hour of his coming, not even Himself, but only the Father (Matthew 24:36). My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by. When the Father gives the nod, the Son of God will come in all His glorious splendor, and He will bring the fullness of His Kingdom and His reign. Yes Lord, Come!

Winter in the orchards